The day I didn’t say “I do”

Even out of focus that girl is good lookin!

Eight years ago today, I didn’t say “I do.”  The funny thing is, Keelie and I didn’t even realize it until a few days into the honeymoon.  I did something that irked Keelie, and I retorted with something along the lines of “Hey! You said ‘I do,’ so now you’re stuck with me!”  Then I stopped and thought back on the service and realized “Hey wait! I didn’t say ‘I do.’ Did you say ‘I do?” I never did!”

Awkward…

Well, in fact, we are legally married, there was no “Woops! We forgot the important part!”  I never said “I do,” because there was no question to respond to.  Dale, the pastor who did our wedding, didn’t ask me if I would take this woman to be my wife; to love, honor, and cherish etc.  Instead, he had me say the vows after him.  So, I never said “I do.”  What I said was

I, Austin, take thee, Keelie, to be my wedded wife; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part according to God’s holy ordinance. With this ring, I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

I take those vows very seriously.  Keelie and I have always had a long view on marriage.  We were more interested in having a lasting marriage than an awesome wedding.  Granted, we had an awesome wedding, but that wasn’t the goal.  The wedding was not the destination, it was actually the launch pad.

Over the last few months, there has been a lot in the news about the final voyages of NASA’s space shuttles.  There is a lot of noise about the launches, lots of emphasis on the last launch of this shuttle or that.  What I haven’t heard much about is what the astronauts are doing up there after the launch.  But I can guarantee one thing: NASA knows what they’re doing!  NASA knew what they were going to be doing a couple of years ago.  They weren’t doing all that training for the “big day” in front of all the cameras.  The launch was important, and it was great to celebrate, but the launch isn’t the goal, it’s the starting point.

Pastor Mark Driscoll said in a sermon one time that the most important day of your marriage is not the first day, but the last day.  Will the last day of your marriage come as it falls apart in adultery or divorce?  Or will it come instead when one or both of you dies, after years of strong marital commitment?  I pray for the latter for my marriage.  I pray that by God’s grace, my marriage will continue to grow in understanding, commitment, and passion.

Interestingly, this weekend, I sat down for the first session of the first pre-marital counseling for the first couple I will ever be able to marry.  My prayer for this couple, as well as any couple I have the privilege of marrying – indeed for every couple I meet – is that they will have this long view of marriage.  That they would not worry about just getting through that special day and saying “I do.”  Rather, I pray that they will live out their vows daily, and seek to honor Christ with their marriage.